E-laughs

How do you know if what you said online is funny or not? Let this little handy guide help you out.

As somewhat of a blogger and sit down comedian, I've had my fair share of laughs and bombs when it comes to material and jokes I put out there. You always wanna get feedback so I've come out with a nifty little guide that will let you know what people REALLY think of your jokes:

1) Ha: "I've had funnier bowel movements."
2) Haha: "I'm being sarcastic. What you said wasn't really funny but I don't want to hurt your feelings."
3) lol: "Legitimately funny. I didn't piss myself but my butthole clenched a little."
4) Lmao: "Hilarious
5) Lmfao: "fucking hilarious"
6) *dead*/*dies*: "the cadillac of electronic laughter. Loss of bodily functions. Temporary paralysis. Mud butt."

p.s- Please keep in mind that adding an exclamation point (!) to the end of any of these will significantly increase the meaning. For example, a "haha!" could possibly be the equivalent of a "lol" and a "lol!" could possibly be the equivalent of a "lmao". The only exception to this rule is "ha!". You still suck.
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Cabin Crazy Pt. 2 (kinda)

There is no part 2 due to the fact that I blacked out from drinking last night and don't remember shit. That is all. Thank you come again. Peezowt.
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Cabin Crazy Pt. 1

Soooooooo ummmmm.....long time no update? I'm on twitter so much "micro-blogging" that I sometimes forget I have an actual blog that I can express myself in more than 140 characters. I then realized that the name of this blog is the chronicles and that I should be using it document things going on in my life as well. So here goes:
This weekend, as we speak, I'm out camping. Yea you heard right. They got ya boy out in these damn woods. But this isn't like full on wilderness, sleep outside, become one with nature camping....we're in a cabin. With electricity. Running water. Bunk beds. Direct TV. And a mini-fridge. Not exactly what you would call "roughing" it. We got here last night and it's me, my boy Bunky, and his boy Rob. Mind you I had no idea Rob is black. Bunky is this big 6'5 300+ lb white boy and me, well...I'm just my dominican self.
So you have this big white dude and two men "of color" in this cabin and I can't help but wonder what the other people at this camp ground are thinking. "Did me and Rob kidnap Bunky?" "Or is Bunky our big brother taking two underprivileged kids out on their first camping experience?" Either way, the shit looks mad suspect. Got drunk as fuck last night playing our version of uno where how ever many cards you have left when the last card is thrown is how many shots/drinks you gotta take. You can imagine the impact of laying down a couple draw fours on somebody late in the game. Ouch.
Interesting conversations when you're drunk. Somehow it got to butt play which is not exactly the kinda conversation that 3 grown men wanna be having in the first place? "Accidental" slip ins, whether or not we let females grab our butts, and hittin it from the back and lettin that thumb slowly creep inside were just a few of the directions that convo went in. Ummmmmm...yea. Exchanging war stories of sexual conquests, some fishing, and even managed to fit some religion in there. Didn't get to bed till like 5am and managed to wake up at 8:30 unscathed. Feeling a bit shitty but I couldve been feeling A LOT worse considering all that I drank last night so I count my blessings. Not sure what the plans for today are but I'm just waiting for Bunky to wake up and make us breakfast. "Are me and Rob a rap duo and Bunky is our manager/personal chef?" Ok, maybe not that one but you gotta admit the other two are pretty believable. Peezowt.
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