Somee Card Tuesdays Volume #1

Well really it should be volume 2 since I posted some last week but I wanna make it a regular weekly segment so i'm making this the first of the series. I love making these things:



















TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR MORE WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT!

The recession hits KFC

Say it ain't so Colonel Sanders...



- R U HUNGRY
- YA I M....NOM NOM NOM

That warm fuzzy feeling...

I've pursued a new hobby...writing somee cards...here are a few of my creations I will submitting to Hallmark:

Best commercial......ever

I love how the fish sings like he has a learning disorder. Much success.



homeboy is jammin aint he? GIMME THAT FISH!!!

Babies make better pets than dogs

Allow me to introduce you to my kids:

Demon Spawn #1



Demon Spawn #2 (no photoshop on this one...his eyes are really like that)



Demon Spawn #2 doesnt spit out split pea soup like the Exorcist...he prefers tomato soup



Awww look he left me another present! Thank you Demon Spawn #2! The gift that keeps on giving folks...demonic poop

The recession hits Subway®

I don't know why or how i'm able to observe some of this shit sometimes:

So i'm chillin at Subway this afternoon on my lunch break waitin on my roast beef on wheat right? It was one of those Subways that are in a gas station so they have the little automated computer screen where you place your order and then give your receipt to the gas station cashier while they prepare your sandwich. So this dude places his order and I guess he got the combo meal because he reaches down to grab his chips. He starts eating his chips while he's in line to pay the cashier and actually ended up finishing the chips before he even got to pay! So he pays the cashier,walks over to the fountain drinks to get the drink that comes with the combo, and gets his drink. Tell me why homeboy went and tried to grab a second bag of chips! and what's worse is that one of the workers blew up his spot BAD when he did it! She was like "UMMM SIR..YOUR COMBO ONLY COMES WITH ONE BAG OF CHIPS!" and on top of that she held up one finger just in case he couldnt understand the words that were comin out of her mouth!...i thought to myself "go ahead girl!...she's ride or die for her company's potato chips!"....LMAO...homeboy just looked real sad and embarassed after that and put the chips down while everybody was either shaking their head or tryin their best to not bust out laughing...guess who was doing both?.....THIS GUY

ahhhh i love life's simple pleasures

Speed Racer

Karma is a bitch with a sense of humor:

So I'm driving down I-95 this morning to work doing 75mph. Anyone who drives down I-95 knows that the speed limit is 65mph. Now you can usually find me doing like 80mph+ going along with the flow of traffic. I'm going slower than normal this morning only because I know the spots where state troops like to camp out. I'm in the fast lane right and this dickless piece of shit (DPOS) behind me decides that I'm not going fast enough and tries to tail me in hopes that I'll wise up and switch lanes. Now usually I'm more than obliged to do this (no one wants to be "that" guy) but because he was right on my ass I thought "fuck that shit if he wants to get in front of me he's gotta switch over and pass me". So DPOS gets hip to my non-compliance, switches lanes and floors it. Not only that but he had the nerve to cut me off in the process to get in front of me! Guess who was waiting for that fuck as soon he pulled his "fast and the furious-esque" move? Woop Woop! State trooper was right there ready for his ass! Guess who was getting tailed now biotch! Gave homie the one finger salute as I drove by him pulled over on the side of the highway

"you wonder why they call you bitch, you wonder why they call you bitch"
-2pac

LMAO

Sweet & Sour

I wish I could shoot like this every day...this was the loser's bracket finals in last weekend's tournament. Unfortunately, we lost our very next game to come in 2nd...damn I was a dick for screaming on them like that...lol

March Madness

I need to make a "man-list". In this man-list I would detail some things that a grown ass man has no fuckin business doing. I've got two things so far:

1) saying the word "snickerdoodle"
2) singing and dancing along with Beyonce's "Diva" in the club

I've personally seen both go down...STOP